Bye bye dreams.

I'm still sad. I'm disappointed. I'm angry. I hate it. I really hate this feeling. I hate feeling this way.

I felt like throwing away ALL my crime novels. Seeing those novels made me even sadder just thinking that I couldn't get my desired course in UKM. I have secretly dreamed of taking forensics in UKM ever since I was in secondary schools. I don't really discuss about this neither with my family and friends.

What made me so damn angry and disappointed is that it took me years to accept the fact that once I graduated from UKM in forensics (as if) I will be a police/cop. Only after I posted about my dreams here, then I realized becoming a police would not be so bad anyway. I finally accept that fact. But now.............I really hate myself for accepting it.

Before this day comes, I have been imagining myself chasing after criminals, solving cases, working in lab experimenting the evidences etc. But imagination is not a good match with reality. Fact of life.

I worked hard for Semester 2 trying to increase my pointer.
So let me be honest out here. My overall pointer is 3.67 and I got Biotechnology in Unimas (one of my desired course) but I COULD NOT get myself into forensics UKM.

Let me tell you one amazing story of how UPU manage all this. I have a friend whose pointer dropped in Semester 2 but her overall pointer is 3.7 something as she got good pointer in Semester 1 and she got herself  a place in medic in UKM. Isn't her pointer and mine not so much of a difference? But why all of this happened?!

This sucks.
This feeling sucks.